Hot Water Bottle Performance Review

I can often be found in bed with the desk fan on my face and a hot water bottle on my stomach. I’ll be on my back with my feet propped up. My face mask will be on, and an audiobook will be playing. That’s how I cope with the pain.

The cramping which comes with whatever this is can be something else. I do have antispasmodics for when it gets awful, but for the most part, an excellent old-fashioned hot water bottle does the job. With these spasms comes the knock-on effect of general muscle aches. So rather than just a “stomach ache”, I get lower back pains and, bizarrely, hip pains. It can be a bit of a workout when it gets bad.

I have some significant scarring on my lower abdomen, called: Erythema ab igne. It doesn't hurt and will fade, but it will always come back when heat is applied. Either from another hot water bottle, hot shower, bath, or even being in the summer sun. It doesn't bother me. My husband says it looks like the Turin shroud if Jesus had one eye. (The one eye is my belly button).

I don't know the science behind heat-on-my-tummy. I know heat helps inflammation, but the pain is inside. And not on the surface. And it's spasms. Hey, if it works, it works!

I have three hot-water bottles—one at work and two at home. The second one is a long thin one and is, quite frankly, shite. Firstly you can't fill it with only one kettle, and secondly, when you put it on across yourself, all the hot water falls to the ends, and not where you need it to be. So if you feel taken in by that gimmick, then turn away! Give me the traditional full-size rectangle fellas.  And when the EU decides they're too dangerous, I will protest outside the Dáil. And also, when there's a power cut, you can't charge your hot water bottle, but you can boil water.

I'm not the only person with the same or similar condition who relies on a hot water bottle for pain relief. TENs machines are a bag of bollocks for me. So hot water bottle 4lyfe. #exit

Beir bua agus beannacht.

Beir bua agus beannacht.