Meteors in my stomach

My gastroenterologist said many people call them meteors. I call them gurgles. And they're not in my stomach they are in my gut. But because saying 'my gastrointestinal tract hurts' I just say stomach.

Here I am at thirty thinks seven and I am already three colonoscopies and one endoscopy in. I guess being ahead of the curve means I’m probably more likely to catch something Bad ™ early. But that’s the problem; I haven’t “caught” anything.

I have “a gut disease” which is causing a “blood disease” which is causing “a gut disease”. And then a dash of mental health and you have me who if I was a cow on the farm would have gone to the factory years ago.

So why am I writing about it? I’m justifying it. Sometimes I wonder whether I am actually ill. How much information is too much? Especially in the world of digestion and excrement. I don’t think it should be censored. There’s a brutal reality here that I think many people don’t get. And considering how many people suffer from one of the many GI diseases out there it’s only right that I am blunt about it.

There is a problem. I love food. Actually, it’s more of a two-phase problem. I have a gut disease and I love food. And I want to write about food at the same time as I describe having a gut disease.

I’m thirty-seven. I have a “borrowed” Tesco grocery crate as a squatty-potty. I should buy shares in Andrex (and in an act of Nostradamus I was given an Andrex puppy teddy when I was born). And I drive around with a full change of clothes in the car like I have a toddler being potty-trained.

What a life, really. I’m meant to be a hip and successful D.I.N.K. Travelling, and exploring the amazing food culture here in Ireland. Instead, I strategically plan all bathroom breaks and carry a tactical hot water bottle.

I’m going to split the posts. Two a week sounds like a good starting point. One post about my tummy #exit, another post about the food #entrance. I hope you’ll join me on one, or both journeys. Despite everything, I am having fun!

Beir bua agus beannacht,